Getting Together

     As I’ve spoken amongst singles, there are more complications getting together with your spouse at an older age (like 40’s
on up).  I’ve not said impossible; I’ve just said more complicated.  There are more concerns getting in the way, causing questions, making the opportunity for possible doubt (blending families, combining homes that don't sell easy these days, underemployment, availability of time, debt, aging parents or sickness).  The world has stuff going on more than ever before.   
      Don’t shy away too soon.  You may have to work through the complications.  They are BOUND to be there or else I believe you are dating someone invisible.  We often immediately think the complications are ‘red flags’, but they may be only fear or seeing that “yes, there is an issue to talk and learn through”.  The complications may come across as fear, which must be worked through with God and by communicating the concerns or wonderings through with the other person.  The real question is how much does God want you to work through in it.
     I’m aware of an experience where the man was very concerned he would not be able to devote the time to a relationship.  The man and woman did go on to date for a short bit.  Because they were both understanding, concerned about the other person’s needs/responsibilities/dedications and were flexible, they saw each other just fine.  So you see that was a valid and fearful concern of the man, but it turned out to work well as they worked well together.
     As I say in my book, I think there are many shades of grey or gray when it comes to relationships.  It’s not always so
black and white…do this, you get that for sure. But I think God and the Holy Spirit are really good at the grey/gray thing. 
The Holy Spirit will direct you THROUGH IT or yes, even out of it possibly. You may be taking a few steps to test the waters if you’re not completely sure and you’ve battled this thought of seeing/courting/dating them for a  longt time now.   Ask and trust the Lord to open and close the doors (Revelation 3:7). “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will
guide you with My eye" (Psalm 32:8).  What do you see that I don't Lord?  Show  me.
      If God says no to a relationship, it doesn’t mean either person is bad or problematic, it could just mean they are not the right ones for each other.  God has plans for each of us--Kingdom plans, ministry plans, joyous plans.  He knows the desires of our hearts better than we even do before we get them; because He will eventually plant them if He hasn’t already.  He knows who
will be able to handle our silly, annoying idiosyncrasies and such too.  
     I want God’s best for you.