Choosing Dates & Mates

Choosing Dates & Mates

Have the types of dates & mates you've chosen through the years changed? If not, you may not have grown spiritually, emotionally or relationally.

A hope is that over the years as we come closer in relationship with Christ, we would become more like him in nature…in our character, transferring over to our actions & treatment of others.  A hope is that we would fall more in love with God, Jesus & the Holy Spirit.  A hope is that we also would have sought wholeness, healing & deliverance for ourselves.  The first does not automatically take care of the last. Sometimes people hold back from further healing due to lack or knowledge of what they’re really carrying or where to receive such help from or having pride not to disclose hurts or hangons to others.  We choose better dates & mates much like when we decide to put healthier food into our own bodies, we become a better grocery shopper.

The hope is that after being transformed in those ways ourselves first, we would desire another that has the fruit of Christ & has resolved and received healing from inner wounds, great doubts & behaviors that don’t model Christ.  I spoke with a person who was asked “What did your former spouse & people you dated all have in common?”  The common denominator lead the person asked to a realization of what trait(s) to avoid upon becoming involved again & to take responsibility to not move forward in that case.  The common denominator lead the person to committing to changing themselves to make a better future selection. 

If one hasn’t courted/dated in a while, what is the reason?  Is it because a male/female hasn’t been found with those qualities?  We really do have to be praying for the walk & growth of our brothers & sisters, don’t we?   Has one found themselves keeping better company in friendships?  Has one’s inner circle become filled with love & strength rather than unnecessary drama, people acting out of the will of God or hurtful people?  Those are good signs that a person has reached a deeper maturity in Christ.  Is it that one has fallen so much in love with Christ that they feel content with Him alone?  That’s great too!  So many would love to be able to say that, but haven’t come to that place yet.  Contentment is beautiful.

So our goal for ourselves should be to chase God & seek wholeness & healing first & if lead, to pursue or wait to be pursued by another with the same heart & spiritual, emotional & relational health in terms of romantic relationships.  Choosing the right relationships saves us hurt & increases our joy.

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